...

If you disobeyed her, though ... things would have ended worse for you two, right? And maybe even ... more people, in the long run.

[Failing, being punished or worse, would have meant no revenge, so could have meant more of her doing as she pleased, hurting more people.

But...] But ... I know even trying to look at it that way probably doesn't help much.

I don't think you're like your shadow, though. Unlike that thing, you ... the real, actual you, care about remembering this.